Old men and throwing up are my life now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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