That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
