My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize