Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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