Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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