i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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