ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
