id be glad to
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
