thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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