Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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