I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
