This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
