god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
