you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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