We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
