We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
