I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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