I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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