We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
