Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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