oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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