From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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