Sry I called you an 8
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
