I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
