All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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