Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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