WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
