You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was like eating out sand paper
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
