Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
