Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it's great music for shaving your balls
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
