Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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