I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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