I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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