well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
His nipple licking is glorious
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
