I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize