i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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