Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
