wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
