I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
