I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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