I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
