Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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