3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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