Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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