hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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