you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
