oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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