i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
