Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
