My sheets look like a crime scene.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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