So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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