I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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