Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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