lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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