so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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