the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
