you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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