The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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