She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
